adventures of a psychopathic magnet

My Bank Thinks I'm Retarded

My bank thinks I am retarded. Why else would they send my checks that are a) huge and b) look fraudulent. If you notice in the photo, the checks they sent to me look like the ones given to little kids to teach them about checking accounts.
LOOK AT IT!! What the hell is that? That is like a prize check you give a lottery winner! I have to get a bigger purse! Thank god it didn't come with clowns or kittens or something on it, people would think I stole them from my senile, blind grandmother. Instead they just think I have the mental capacity of a five year old. It doesn't help that, with a check like that I feel you can only fill it out with a big purple crayon while writting with your left hand (or right if you are left handed). Or the Stripper and I decided that you could also use a smelly marker. Then you could get all excited that your check smells like grapes or some such thing. My dad says I should just use lipstick if I really want to go for the crazy lady angle.
But seriously, who would accept a check that looks like that? I strongly believe I could make a less fraudulent looking check on my computer. Hell, I could propbably draw a better one.
But tomorrow I say good bye to the crap checks, at least I hope. I am off to argue with my bank that I am not legally blind and therefore do not need giant Ed McMann checks. The standard size ones will do just fine.

Added later: I took my checks back to the bank. I showed the teller what I had ordered using a babysitting check, then whipped out what I received. His reaction, "What the?" Thats right!! The man at the bank had never seen anything like it. Therefore proving that no one with half a brain would accept a check that looked like that.

posted by lulu @ 10:01 PM